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The Art of Cool

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Posted on May 17 2011 by Arash

 

If you have ever hung out with someone who’s playful, even a guy one of your guy friends fun playful guy, time goes faster and you want to keep hanging out. Right?

There’s a difference between that and someone being a clown, that guy is annoying as hell, it’s like “Shut the fuck up dude seriously.” That guy annoys so you are not the clown but a warm friendly guy who knows what he is doing.

If that’s the case for us how about the girl now? You meet the girl you are hanging out on the couch or whatever the fuck you are doing and you are that serious guy.

Now, remember how you feel about a serious guy and now she’s a girl you being serious is ten times worse than a guy being serious (with you).

She’s like “come on you are scary now” right? Or what if you are the fun playful guy when she meets you, wants to continue the interaction its comfortable it’s nice.

If you are the clown same thing she will say “shut the fuck up” or might laugh at a few things and say “Ok, that’s enough that’s it.”

The difference is if you are a doing it to seek approval from people that’s what gets clowny and weird. If you are doing it because you are amusing yourself and because it’s interesting and you would do it whether they were there or not that’s a “cooler” approach.

That’s just the way it is that’s one of the formulas for cool you know what I mean? I would be doing the same activity if someone was here or not, that makes that person Cooler.

Now, here is less cool: I change my activity because someone else is around, that’s less cool, the coward.

It has to be communicated during set whether true or not ‘til eventually, if you are doing: “The True Art of The Alpha Male” which is what we do here, than that’s what you want to get to.

Your integrity that’s who you are that’s what it is.

 

Category: Blog

Podcast Episode #2: Opening the Conversation

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Posted on May 17 2011 by Arash

Teaching you the correct way to open the set in an indirect way.

Listen Now:

Seductive Instinct Episode 2 –  Opening the conversation

Download Episode

Transcript:

Ok, let’s talk about the subject of opening and lets breakdown and understand what it is. First of all, you gotta understand that we are dealing with women that are nine’s and ten’s.

Meaning what? Meaning that they are in the magazines, they are in the movies, they are the models, they are the girls doing the shows, they are the strippers, they are the hired guys and we are not talking about the regular person.

If you are going to be opening the conversation, and opening means what? Just starting a conversation with one of these women, the first thing you have to recognize is that they go thru their day and they are constantly hit on. Like constantly and they know it, right? I have a lot of those girls in my life and that’s one of the subjects I like to talk to them about.

They know, they know when a guy is asking them at the gas station like “oh, do you know what time it is?” Or ”Is that car, does it drive nice?” They know what that means. They know when they are going to the groceries store and the cashier is like “How’s your day?” and they can tell “yeah dude you want to fuck me and that’s going thru your head.”

You can’t open a conversation with these women by communicating interest. The First rule about opening correctly is it has to be neutral, as neutral as possible. Taking into consideration that the fact that you approached her you are showing some interest. Ok, now having already done that you need to open the conversation in a very neutral manner and in a way that does not communicate to her that you are after her.

This is why opinion openers are really good. Because you are asking an opinion and another thing that can really help with an opener is the spontaneous effect of it. It can’t look like oh I just walked up to you to start the conversation and I’m saying this totally neutral thing, no because then it looks obvious that you were walking up with that predetermined idea. It’s in the way that you approach.

You are walking by you walk past them you turn around and over the shoulder you say “Oh hey let me get your opinion real quick I gotta get back to my friends. What do you think about blah blah blah..” It has to look spontaneous it has to look natural. Ok, so that’s part of the opener.

The Second part is in that you are not conveying interest you are just asking a question, some kind of question. Now, as you ask the question, your opener, it’s very important how your body language is. You definitely don’t want to be facing them square on in fact if you are out and some stranger approaches you square shoulders walking right up to you, you are going to start feeling like “Yo, dude get away from me.”

That has to be taken into consideration Ok? That’s why you open over the shoulder, you lean away and you should throw in a false time constraint (like “I gotta get back to my friends” or “hey I gotta get going but blah blah blah.”) Ok and this is important because otherwise, let’s say you are out with your friends and some stranger approaches you, you might feel like if I answer he might stick around.

You know what I mean? So it has to be a quick thing. You throw in the false time constraint, you make it spontaneous, and you ask some sort of neutral question. Your tonality is important like you can’t walk in and be like “HEY GUYS I GOTTA ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION!” You can’t, Ok you are out. Who wants to talk to that Donald Duck and shit?

Your smile is very important in the opener. You have to convey that you are actually warm and friendly, you’re playful and having a great time and this is just part of the night. Like “Hey guys listen, I gotta get back to my friend and you guys seem like you got some style to you, well you know kind of…”

Whatever I’m just throwing that out right now but it’s very important you have a warm friendly vibe. The smile goes a long way, not a cheesy smile, a natural smile. So how do you do shit like that? That can be a whole subject in its self. Let’s give a hint or a clue; one is: You have to like people.

Sometimes people are afraid of other people and they still want to be a great Pick-Up artist. Like how the fuck are you going to a Social Dynamics guy if you are afraid of people?

Sorry, it ain’t gonna happen you know what I mean? You have to have a genuine interest in people, like when I’m out I’m
not thinking about how many phone numbers I’m gonna get, I know I’m gonna get phone numbers like without a doubt. But I know the phone numbers are going to be naturally part of the night because I’m going to meet a lot of cool people, and I’m friendly and they are friendly, and we are going to have something in common and something in our lives is going to make sense for us to contact each other later.

It’s not going to be because we want to fuck because again if you are approaching a nine or a ten like that has to be the furthest thing from your mind. It really should be if you want to be a really powerful Pick-Up artist I’m not saying act like it’s the furthest thing from your mind I’m saying you should literally have a different purpose in your approach. Maybe your purpose is to put out a good friendly vibe and see how good your communication skills are.

Maybe your purpose is to go out and meet people or maybe your purpose is to go out and work on your body language or see people’s body language, read people. All that is better than your purpose is to go out and get some pussy for the night or whatever. The second one makes you weaker plus they have some kind of radar for shit like that.

When we are talking about openers let’s review you have to have neutral opening and the natural, gotta make it look spontaneous, smile. Be warm and friendly, throw a false time constraint, body rock so you are not facing them completely and lean away do it over the shoulder.

Once the conversation opens, and this is where a lot of people get confused on, the purpose of the opener is simply to open the conversation. Once the person is now answering you its opened you gotta move from there to the next step. If you are following the Mystery Method which is highly recommended by me you should know everybody that studies game should know the Mystery Method because without it you will never as successful as you can be.

If you are following that method then you go from opening to demonstrating you have a higher value. Now, you have a very short amount of time, she answers you she says “Oh I think you should get a puppy instead of a cat”, “I think black nails are cool”, “That tattoos on guys are” whatever the fuck she says.

In that short amount of time you have to convey to her that you are different than everyone else in the club or the bar and that there’s something high value about you.

The way you speak, the way you smile, the way you dress, who you are around, what they have already seeing about you beforehand is all going to play into the equation here.

Let’s say you are going to open a set of people and there’s like a super, super, smoking hot girl in that group and everyone is trying to get at her and you see it and she knows it. It’s probably a good idea to open a some sets around her so she sees how you talk to other people, she sees how your socially calibrated, how you have social alignments, how you have healthy emotions, how you are just a cool guy. And that you just didn’t approach her, you’re talking to everybody, she’s just part of everybody.

The difference is that you are the only guy in the night that’s not actually hitting on her, which is refreshing, and is going to make her think “why is he not hitting on me?” If she is hot she is thinking that trust me. So those are some basics on openers.

The question that arises is different environments where you open people. You could open them in the bar, club or if you go to the mall like that’s something I do, I get a lot of girls phone numbers from the mall and the girls working there. Or the restaurants, that’s another activity that I am really good at as hired guns the girls that work at restaurants, the hotter girls. And is there a difference?

Well the only difference is in the volume that you use and the energy that you use. I’m not going to be in the restaurant acting like I am in the club that’s kind like off.

“HEY SUPPP HEHEHEEEE.” Goofy and I am not going to be in the bar and club acting like I am in the restaurant it’s too low energy.

But the same principles apply which is: Neutral, Smiling, over the shoulder all this shit and nothing were you are conveying interest, the energy is different.

 

The waitress walks up and talking to you friend and “Hi can I take your order?” you turn and you say “you know what? You can give me an opinion on something. He and I were talking about blah blah blah. Now, you as female you work here and I am sure you probably get hit on a lot, guys come in here first thing and …” You already conveyed that you know this that you are not kind of hitting on her because why would you say that? Blah blah blah, “What do you think about that?” and she’ll probably be thrown off for a second. You watch her she either gets into it and is like “Well I think blah blah blah” or she is kind of like almost weirded out I’ve seen that where she is all like “whoa why is he asking me that?” If that happens you just immediately cut the thread and “you know what no worries.”

Anyways yea and you get into a launch thing. But you continue the conversation with your partner. Now question is there, she comes back again she needs to see that your laughing having a good time, you’re not two people sitting at the table eating but your actually on the phone the whole time with other people, Text-ting, you’re having an interesting conversation. She needs to over here all these things, so that’s the restaurants.

The mall is similar you got to understand these girls are doing their jobs so a lot of times they are aware of a managers and cameras watching them too. That’s different than a club and at the club you have to have a lot more energy and they are out to meet people most of the time. A girl could be like “I am not out to meet people” Yes she is, OK? Yes she is bottom line. That’s what you have to believe ok? If she didn’t want to meet people she wouldn’t be out. Or “I am out just want to hang out with my girlfriends.” Bitch you can be home hanging out with your girlfriends K? You can fucking go somewhere else don’t fucking come all dressed up to the club and shit. You’re trying to meet somebody. “I have a man” Yea yea whatever.

Anyways that’s the difference is in the energy but the same rules apply, neutral, warm, friendly. Once it opens you go into a DHV Demonstrating Higher Value and just conveyed who you are to her, that you are different.

One thing you have to keep in mind: If you are dealing with a waitress or a mall employee as quickly as you can you have to convey to her that you are not just a customer. Because she is in a customer mode you know what I mean? Let’s say you’re getting a massage, I know guys that are trying to pick up trying pick up masseuses and try to get their little happy ending and shit. She has to know right away that she is that you’re not just a customer. How you do that is the art that we can get into in another time.

But if she sees you as a customer she is going to have a hard time giving you a phone number but if she sees you not as just a customer than the chances of you and her talking later is going to be much higher. Those are something’s to keep in mind in regards to opening different venues.

If it’s loud you got to be louder and opening your energy is really important. I know mystery talks about this: you have to come in as the same energy as the person has or slightly higher. If you go too high you sound gay. If you go to low they are going to blow you up because you’re sucking their energy. Who the fuck wants to have somebody around who is going to make ‘em feel like shit?

Ok, keep in mind always at the end of the final analysis you are there to give value to people. To make them feel better good about you presence if you can keep that in mind you’re going to be a lot more successful.

Ok, those are some Ideas for opening; you should try them out and see what it is like.

It should make you a 100 times more successful, If you have any questions then email!

Ok, and I’ll handle your questions from your next one. Alright till then Peace, Peace, Peace and I hope you get some.

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Category: Podcast

How do you handle flakes?

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Posted on May 11 2011 by Arash

 

Your value has to be so incredibly high that her flaking is not an option.

So how do you create that? That’s all in the attraction. If she is not showing up it means something else had more value. That’s all it is, it’s not a fucking mystery. That’s one of the realizations I had in the beginning.

If you are setting up a date you tread lightly. Which means what?

Well, check out this example. “Maybe we should do something tomorrow night I might have some time at seven.” If she says “Yes” then you reward her with an Indicator Of Interest.

But, don’t stop there. You should get her to commit even more so asking her something like “Do you have time for sure? Because I’m a little bit busy.” If she says “Yes, I totally have time” then that’s good you have a second commitment from her.

You should go one more step to get the solid commitment so saying something like “Seven works for me. What about you?”

If she replies positive again then you should finally hit her with another giant value pack on it.

Which means what?

The activity has to have a lot of value for her. Always have an activity to do which can be a promise of value if she shows up. This will make the chances of her flaking very minimal.

You can have a project that you are working on that you want her to be part of. Doing a cold reading routine which would help her find out about herself will help you build value. Use your life to give her the value that she needs to not flake.

This part takes some art and that’s why we are called Pick-up Artists.

 

Category: Blog

Impose the friends frame on her

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Posted on May 10 2011 by Arash

 

When you meet a new girl you need to impose the friend frame because if you are the one that puts it there then you can always take it off. Immediately, you should want to be friends only.

If a guy doesn’t have a girlfriend then he should want to be friends even more. “I just want to be fucking friends can you get that through your head?” You should say to them.

No guy says that to a hot girl.

You  can tell her about your other friend just like that. Ask them “Is it difficult to be just friends? Yeah, I know you are hot and I’m hot but you are just not my type but it’s cool to have a conversation with you.”

BOOM!

She is now getting negged with a dagger. And if she is smart, she will come back with “Yeah, you are not my type.” You reply “Exactly! That’s why I like hanging out with you.”

Let’s just be friends. This is very powerful but the problem is that we have always been running from it because we are so fucking scared of those words. A principle in martial arts that I teach is you have to take the sword away from them and make it your weapon.

So we take the “Let’s just be friends” and it becomes our weapon not theirs. It’s mine, it’s not yours. This is something I use its part of my vocabulary. It’s actually cute if she says it to me.

If she says “well I just want to be friends” I laugh and say “That’s funny I always say that to girls. I like that you did my job for me. I’m glad that’s all we are.”

You have to take ownership of this shit.

 

Category: Blog

How do you go from attraction to comfort?

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Posted on May 6 2011 by Arash

 

I think people misjudge where they are in the process.

Let me give you an example. The girl gives you an IOI (Indicator Of Interest) but it’s not really a good IOI and the guy goes “Oh that was an IOI!” Yeah, it was but there’s a difference if she comes up to you and says “I love tattoos and you are so hot” or “I wonder how it would feel to kiss someone with piercings.

Those are real IOI’s. It is also an IOI if she physically turns to you as you are talking, but let’s not confuse the two. One I can move forward a lot faster and stronger compared to the second one where I have to calibrate. This is something you should have in mind when you ask how to move from Attraction to Comfort.

What kind of attraction do you have? Is it a REAL attraction?

What I want my students to go for is the INTENSE level of attraction. Where the girl is saying “Fuck, I gotta have ‘em!” instead of just being curious and interested.

First it will be curiosity and interest unless you are totally her type, you know when she says “Oh my god I love rockers” or “I love fighters.” If you are not her type then you have to create interest, curiosity and fascination, those are the first steps.

Once you have that then you can go into high levels of attraction. Before we move into comfort we have to qualify her, it’s not proper game if you don’t but with the strong enough frame you can get away with anything, Mystery agrees with that too. I need her to qualify herself and invest in the interaction or else we are not moving into comfort.

Category: Blog

Friends or sex?

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Posted on May 3 2011 by admin

There is confusion there for people. Ultimately if you are gaming you want the girl to want to have sex with us.

This is something that is difficult for a guys girl friends to understand.

“Why would you want her to fuck you?” Same reason they go out and dress in a skirt, put on make-up, take picture with your girls and feel good about it. Same reason.

As a man we don’t have girls constantly telling us how beautiful and gorgeous we are. You do, all you have to do is go out to the grocery store get some cereal and comeback.

I can guarantee you three or four guys gave you Indicators of Interest, they wanted you, and you felt good about yourself. I guarantee you if you lived in a world where if you went out for a week and no fucking guy recognized you, no one even saw you, at some point you are going to start feeling insecure about your self aren’t you?

Well, we live in a world like that and you can’t understand that because you are a hot girl.

So, as a guy we have friends that are girls and it is important that we do feel that they are sexually attracted to us. This gives us the same emotional response you get when you go out and we are allowed to have that good feeling about ourselves too.

For a girl, if you have ever been with a guy that doesn’t feel good about himself that’s where the major jealousy started happening in the relationship. You don’t want that do you?

Good.

So it can’t be where everywhere you go every guy is trying to fuck you and everywhere I go no girl can look at me. Well guess what, guys and girls work differently. Girls aren’t walking in the grocery store looking at every guy and saying “I want to fuck him.” You girls work differently.

 

Category: Blog
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